Husband got my former student pregnant

Dear Pastor,

My husband and I are both in our 40s. We have two children together. My husband agreed that I can go and study for two years and return to him.

My parents are living abroad, so I took the children with me and my parents and other relatives took care of them. For about a year now I heard that my husband is playing around with a girl. At first he denied it but I threatened him and told him that I will not return to him if it is true. I also told him that I am willing to forgive him because when it comes to sex he has a real weakness. So he admitted to having an affair. He promised to end the relationship. Would you believe that things have got worse? I have found out that the girl who he was having a relationship with is five and a half months pregnant and I taught her in school. The girl had been sleeping at my house so neighbours got to know her and my husband cannot hide that they are having an affair. How can I go back to be with my husband when he has this girl pregnant for him? Soon she will have her baby and what am I supposed to do? Accept another child with my children? My folks here are telling me that if I am going back to Jamaica, I should just go and pack my things and leave. My husband is crying on the phone and begging me not to leave him, but this girl is in the way and she is pregnant. My children love their father, but he has messed up everything. I did not only teach this girl, but I used to help her with lunch money. How they got involved I do not know. I was not aware that he knew the girl but Jamaica is a small place anyway. My heart tells me to come home but my head says the relationship will not work anymore, so I am asking you for your advice. The girl is only 22 years old. What do you suggest, Pastor?

F.E.

Dear F.E.,

Your husband is disrespectful. He made a big mistake by getting emotionally and sexually involved with this young woman. You forgave him and he promised that he would end the relationship, but he didn't and he complicated the whole thing by getting the young woman pregnant. He is not a wise man at all. You have the right to question whether he loves you and his family. He has behaved like a fool and has embarrassed you. How can you trust him again and how would you be able to deal with the young woman? I am not going to tell you not to return and be reconciled with your husband, but I know that the relationship will never be the same. Perhaps what you should do is to consult a family counsellor in America and talk to him or her about the situation. Your relatives up there may not be the right people, although they may endeavour to be balanced. So find someone who you consider would be fair. But even so, remember that the final decision is yours. Your husband has behaved like a person who does not care about his family. You have much to think about but I trust that you will make the right decision.

Pastor