My boyfriend is still living with his child’s mother

July 28, 2021

Dear Pastor,

I need your help. I am 23 years old and I am pregnant for my boyfriend. He did not mean to get me pregnant, but we went on a hideout for a weekend, and while we were having sex the condom broke, and where we were, we could not leave the following day for us to buy the morning-after pill. It happened on the Friday night and we did not leave our secret hideout until late Sunday.

My boyfriend told me that I shouldn't worry. He didn't believe anything would happen. We made an arrangement for a taxi to pick us up from where we were, but he came late. So the driver took me home and then took my boyfriend home after. I wasn't worried about anything until I missed my period. I thought my period was late, but I took the pregnancy test and I found out that I am pregnant. I told one of my girlfriends what happened to me and she told me that I am too smart to be so stupid.

I am really fretting now because I was just trying to get to know the guy, because he was in a previous relationship and had just broken up with his girlfriend when we decided to spend the weekend together. I am living with my aunt, but I know that I will not be able to stay here with this stomach, and my boyfriend is still living with his child's mother. She has not moved out yet, but nothing is going on between them. He told me that as soon as she moves, I can move in with him. I don't know why I am so unfortunate. He asked me if I want to keep the pregnancy and I told him yes, because it is my first child.

I want to leave my aunt's house before I start to show. My aunt is not married, but she has a male visitor. He sleeps with her sometimes, but she doesn't want me to bring any man to her house; that is one of the reasons why this man and I had to go to the hideout on the weekend.


Dear H.,

The young man who got you pregnant is still living with a woman. You said that they are not together and that he is hoping that the woman will leave very soon. You don't know him very well, yet you chose to spend a weekend with him at a location you call a hideout.

I think I agree with your girlfriend who said that you are too smart to be this stupid. I get to believe that you accept anything that this man tells you. Going to a hideout and having sex is not a good way to get to know a man.

This man wanted to have sex with you for the weekend and you were very much up to it; and when the condom broke, both of you had enough time to purchase the pill. If you were not naive, you could have insisted that this man call the taxi driver and take you to buy the pill. You have found yourself into a pot of soup, but I will suggest that you tell your aunt what has happened to you. She might not ask you to leave, but she would want to meet with your so-called boyfriend. I hope that he is not fooling you.


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