Husband’s ex-wife making his life hell
This is the first time I am writing to you, but I listen to you every night on the radio and I read your column every day.
I have two children, a boy and a girl. I got married two years ago. My children are not by my husband, who was divorced before we got married. When we started going together, he told me that he did not want any more children. He is a successful businessman and he is 45 years old. He has this house in which we live and another in a major town.
The father of my two children supports them. They are not in need of anything because my husband also sees to it that they are taken are of.
But my husband's ex-wife has turned the children's mind against their father. She told them that I am the one who caused him to break up their marriage. Pastor, that is not true. My husband is now asking me to consider having a child for him, and that is not something that I can agree to do because I am 40 years old. I reminded him that he said he did not want any more children. I also told him that he should not be worried about what is ex-wife is saying about him.
I can understand why your husband wants to father another child. Men do not like to have children who don't care for them. Your husband's ex-wife has got her children to believe that their father was a bad man and that you took him away from their mother. Your husband knows that is not true and you know that as well. No woman can take another man from a woman. If a man goes with another woman it is because the man wants to go with the woman, but I understand what women mean when they say other women have taken away men. I believe that they mean that the woman has treated him well and she cooks what he would like to eat and she takes good care of him in the bedroom so he gives her what she needs and she gives him what he needs. He is not mean to her. Here is what I would suggest. Your husband has to learn to get closer to his children. As they grow up, he should not ignore them at all. He should call them not only on their birthday etc, but he should call them as often as possible to find out how they are doing and at least try to spend some time with each of them every week. He needs to know what their plans are for the future. They may rebuff him but he should not give up. He will eventually win their hearts over, at least we hope so, and when he meets his children, he should never say anything negative about their mother.