Sugar daddy’s girlfriend getting in my way

September 03, 2021

Dear Pastor,

I am 16 and a half years old and I have a boyfriend who is 32, but he supports me in high school. My father doesn't have anything to do with me.

My father told me that I was a jacket when I was 10 years old. I cried when he called me a jacket. My mother never sent me back to see him again. My mother had four of us and she buys and sells. I used to stay by the roadside and help my mother and every day a man would stop and buy mangoes and ripe bananas from me. One day he told my mother that he liked me and he wanted to know if he could get me.

My mother told him no because I was too young and when I went another day, he pulled up and I went to the car and he asked me how old I was and I told him I was 16. He paid for the ripe bananas and he gave me $5,000 in an envelope and told me to buy something nice for myself. I showed my mother the $5,000 and she asked me if I liked him and I told her yes and she didn't say anything.

Another time when I saw him he told me where to meet him and I went and he took me to a store uptown and told me to take whatever I wanted. I bought two pairs of jeans, some underwear and a pair of shoes and he paid for them and took me back to where my mother was selling. That night I could not sleep. My mind was on this man. I gave my mother two of the panties. This man told me that he had a girlfriend and they were not getting along very well and she was away. He picked me up one Friday afternoon and he took me to where he lives and told me to call my mother and tell her that I was not coming home. When I did so my mother told me that I was too young to sleep out. So he took me home and picked me up the following day and that's when we went to bed.

I have never been out of money since we've been friends. I do have a problem now because his girlfriend is back and I cannot go to his house. He said he and his girlfriend are trying to make up but she can't prevent him from loving me. His neighbours told his girlfriend about me, but he told me that he told her that I was his niece and I was only visiting and she believes what he said. He also told me to 'hold my corner' because she will soon go abroad again. I don't know what to do. This is my first boyfriend and I don't want to lose him.

O.

Dear O.,

I can understand why you became involved with this much older man. Your mother was struggling and when you were 10, she sent you to your father for help and he rejected you and called you a jacket. He insulted you and that is not something you will ever forget. So when this customer stopped by the roadside and bought goods from your mother and showed interest in you, you embraced the opportunity.

No one should condemn you for doing so. I am not saying that you had to go with him. I am just saying that people should try and understand your situation. This man is much older than you and he knew that you would not have rejected him. He told you that he had a girlfriend but he hasn't told you the whole truth about their relationship. They are still together. He will do everything in his power to keep the relationship that he has with you going because he knows that you need the help.

I hope, however, that you will come to realise that although you need financial help, your greatest need is education. So try your best and go to school and don't be careless. Don't allow this man to get you pregnant. Don't hide anything from your mother. I am hoping that your mother will reason with you and that both of you will agree for you to end the relationship with this man. It would be hard to do but better for you in the end. I wish you well.

Pastor

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