Side chick not willing to let me go

October 12, 2021

Dear Pastor,

I am 39 years old and I am having a problem. I am married, but I have a side chick. The relationship is complicated because my wife doesn't know anything about it, and if she finds out she will leave me.

My wife is a very prominent person in Jamaica and we have a very good relationship, but I got involved with this girl when we started to work together. I can say that she pushed herself on me and I was unable to resist her. She is very charming and I am not proud to say she is better than my wife in every way. She is drawing blood from me these days because I have been trying to end the relationship with her. She wants so much from me. Whenever she asks me for things that I cannot afford, and I tell her I do not have the money, she says that I should use my credit card. I have used my credit card so many times, and I have to be hiding the statements when they come to me.

She wants the most expensive shoes and dresses. As I said, she is drawing blood. I told her that we should end the relationship, and she said I have to give her what she wants first. She told me that I should apply for a credit card for her, and I wouldn't have to worry about my wife seeing the statements. However, I cannot afford that. This girl does not have children and I don't know what she does with her money. I used to help her pay her rent, but I stopped that because I cannot pay the rent for her and I know that another man is sleeping in her bed. She used to deny that she has another boyfriend, but now she tells me that when I am gone to my wife she has to have someone around, and I should remember that no hair is growing in her face.

This relationship has been going on for two years, and this girl wants me for herself. That is how I see it. When I told her that she can't have all of me, she told me that what she wants is the best of me. Sometimes I don't know what to do. I have a brother and a sister, and I talked to my brother about what I have got myself into. He said that he spoke to the girl and she told him that I was the one who came into her life. She said that she did not invite me into her life, but if I am going to leave her, I must give her what she wants. I cannot say anything to my sister because my sister and my wife are very good friends, and she would go straight to my wife and tell her.

I want to know what I should do about this relationship. My side chick is not willing to let me go, so give me your advice.


Dear O.,

It is evident that you have come to realise that you should not have got involved with this woman. In fact, you want to do the right thing by ending it, but your side chick is resisting what you want to do. The truth is, she cannot stop you from leaving her. She can make threats, and she can even carry through with some of the threats, but if you want to walk away from the relationship, she can't prevent you.

I am suggesting that you ignore her threats and break all ties with her; but at the same time, I think you should be prepared to admit to your wife that you cheated on her, because this young woman is likely to carry out her threats by telling your wife about the affair. You have to take that risk. Your wife may forgive you or punish you, but you should not allow your side chick to hold you hostage.

You don't have much time to do what is right. Break up your fallow ground now. No more spending on her, and don't call her or entertain any conversation with her any more. It's over and done with.

I hope you will take my suggestion. Find ways to strength the relationship you are having with your wife. Use your head, my brother, and be wise.


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