My heart is on fire for this 75-y-o man

November 23, 2021

Dear Pastor,

I am 71 years old and I am living with my two daughters. They are in their late 40s. I have friends who call me and we talk for hours on the phone. But I have a male friend who I like. My daughters like him too. He wants to take our relationship to a higher level. He is a 75-year-old widower.

He lives alone but he has a helper. He does not like me to call her his caregiver. He says that makes him feel as if he is helpless. She treats him very well. She cooks three times per week for him. He tells me how much he loves me but my daughters are discouraging me from going to the level that he wants to go. I love this man much more than my daughters would understand. He is a gentleman. He lives in a lovely house. His daughter has her own home but she rented it out and is living with her father. She is always travelling because of her job. He has met some of my girlfriends. I asked him whether he would love to have a relationship with any of them and he said no, he wants me. I secretly want him too. Sometimes I get upset with my daughters when they say that their father, who is deceased, wouldn't want to see me lying down in bed with another man. I told them that a dead man cannot see. But they say their father would see me. They are educated girls. They just don't want me to get involved with a man who is 75 years old.

Please, tell me how you see it.


Dear K.R.,

You are not a silly person and you know what you want. You are not admiring this man or trying to get anything that is material from him. You know he loves you and you know that, in your heart, you love him. So it is time for you to tell your daughters that, although you appreciate what they say to you and they have your best interests at heart, it is time for them to back off and leave you alone.

You are not too old to be in love. Your daughters have their lives to live, and so do you. You will not be doing anything stupid if you accept this man's proposal and marry him. I wish you well as you make your decision.


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