Mom hates my father’s guts - He left her for another woman and she has never forgiven him

January 24, 2022

Dear Pastor,

I was born in Jamaica, but I was taken to America when I was one year old. My parents got married when I was still a child and they lived together for about seven years.

I was sent to school at a young age and my parents showed me love. My father did construction work. During the summer, he was always working. But when it got cold, he was at home. My mother used to complain that he is spending too much time in the house. He moved from New York and went to North Carolina to stay with and help his brother.

My father got involved with another woman there. She is originally from Jamaica, too. His brother encouraged him to stay in North Carolina. When he told my mother that he was not coming back, she said that she was going to join him there and he told her that there was another woman in his life. She did not believe him. So, she took the bus and found where he was living and tried to convince him to come back.

She took me back to New York, but my father supported me. As I grew up, my mother would always curse my father and say bad things about his side of the family. The more she cursed my father, is the more I loved him because he was always talking to me on the phone. My father divorced my mother. When I was graduating from high school, my father came to my graduation and he brought the woman he was with in North Carolina. When my mother saw her, she was very upset and my mother did not attend the dinner that my father arranged after my graduation. My mother still curses my father.

My father has not had another child and everything he has is mine. I have gone to college and now my mother wants to come and live with me. I love my mother, but I don't want her to live with me and I told her so. She says that I am ungrateful like my father. I have tried not to take sides, but whenever she asks a question, I tell her the truth and then she starts cursing me for speaking the truth.

B.D.

Dear B.D.,

You are old enough to make your own decision. You do not want your mother to live with you and no one should try and force you to do so. Some women are always cursing the fathers of their children. They fail to realise that the children don't like what they say. You know what your father has done for you. So, what your mother said about him was not totally true. I could only encourage you to do your best for your mother. But you do not have to have her live with you and you do not have to have a guilty conscience about that.

Pastor

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