Thinking of marrying this young stud - But he is 20 years my junior

Dear Pastor,

My husband died four years ago and I am dating again. But this man is much younger than my late husband. My sisters told me that I am robbing the cradle.

I am 20 years older than this guy. My children love him, including my son. He takes them everywhere they want to go. He has a good job. He does not ask me for money. We have one rule and that is he should not sleep at my home because I do not want my daughter to see that I am taking a man into my bedroom and sleeping with him. We have our favourite hotel that we go to.

My relatives call me a cougar. My children are 10 and 13 years old. I love this man. This is the perfect man for me. I know he loves me. He makes me happy. Do you think there is any danger in marrying him?

W.D.

Dear W.D.,

There must be more than one reason why you have been dating this man. I doubt very much that it is just because you think you love him.

Many older women prefer to go with much younger men because these younger men can give them a 'hard ride' and the young men are happy to have older women because some of them have wealth. Their husbands have left them financially stable and sometimes they don't have to pay rent or mortgage. Many of the women also buy the younger men cars and meet all their bills. But these women should always remember that they will age and they will not look as attractive as they are looking now.

Please understand that I am not attacking you. I am just telling you that there are things to consider when you are going with a much younger man than yourself. It is likely that this younger man may eventually leave you after a certain amount of years have passed because he wants a younger woman in his life.

Both of you should go to see a family counsellor and discuss this relationship with him/her. But in the meantime, I wish you well.

Pastor