Husband was playing footsie with our dinner guest

May 02, 2022

Dear Pastor,

I am 30 years old and I am married. I invited a young lady to have dinner with myself and my husband. This girl is only 18 years old. I did not know that my husband loves her.

I am deeply annoyed. When it was dinner time, we sat at the table. My sister, who is in her early 20s, was with us. This girl sat on one side of the table facing my husband and I.

My sister told me that she realised that my husband and this girl were playing footsie under the table and the girl was just smiling. I did not expect that from any of them. My sister also told me that she knew that my husband liked the girl and I should not have her back at the house, because that relationship will develop further. I could not keep it to myself, so I asked my husband why he was touching the girl under the table. He said he was only joking with her. So, I asked him whether that was a good way to joke and he said it was nothing serious. I left the matter there.

A few weeks after that, the young lady asked me if she could come back to the house for dinner. I told her that I couldn't afford to lose my husband to her. Then I asked her whether it was true that she was playing with my husband under the table. She said he was the one who put his feet on her leg, but she did not realise that anybody at the table knew what was going on.

This is a young girl and I do not believe that she had bad intentions. I am so disappointed in my husband because I give him sex whenever he wants it and however he wants it. I did not know that he would cheat on me right under my nose. How can I trust this man?


Dear T.,

Don't blame yourself for what your husband has done. Evidently, he loves this young lady and he used the dinner table as an opportunity to touch her, not realising that your sister was aware that something was going on between both of them. While you were busy serving, your young sister realised that the girl was giggling and she must have seen some type of movement that caused her to realise that they were playing footsie under the table. Your husband doesn't have any class and he has embarrassed you. How can you trust him?

I know you are angry with the girl and by right, you should. But your husband should bear the weight of the blame. Give this young lady some guidance but don't condemn her. Please don't. Now you know for sure that your husband will cheat if he gets the opportunity because if he can start an affair right under the table, he will take that further.


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