Boyfriend and I had sex while my parents slept

Dear Pastor,

I am 19 years old and I am planning to go to college. I have many problems. My present boyfriend is 25 and he is assisting me. I don't have any problem when it comes to money.

He has a good job. He doesn't only assist me, but he has assisted many members of the family. Some of my friends love him. One has even threatened to take him away from me. I started to have sex with him when I was 17 years old. It happened right in my parents' home. He drove, but did not park his car near to our house. I told my sister that my boyfriend was coming to see me. When he got to the house, I let him in. Only my sister and I knew that he was there. I was nervous, but he wasn't. He said he wanted oral sex, but I was afraid. I had never done it before. We had a fuss over that, but he said his former girlfriend did it, so why shouldn't I do it to him.

It did not take us long to go into the act. I had to do what I had to do, because I was always afraid that my parents would wake up. My sister said that she would never take the risk of having her boyfriend come to the house. That night, after he left, I gave my sister half the money he gave me. Only my father has ever given me $20,000 at one time, but I gave my sister half so that she would keep her mouth close.

My sister told me recently that my boyfriend made a pass at her. When she rebuked him, he told her that I am just a whore, because only a whore would let a man in her parents' house and have sex with him right there while her parents were asleep. He denied calling me a whore, but I know my sister wouldn't tell lies on him.

My mind is turning from this man. I curse the day that I met him and the day I allowed him to get between my legs. He has been threatening me that he will tell everybody that our house is just a whorehouse and that I am nobody. Please tell me what to do. Only my sister knows that I let him into our house a couple of times.

J.H.

Dear J.H.,

You made a mistake, and you will always regret what happened between this man and you. Some men don't care what they do, and where they had sex.

But as a woman, you should have been much more careful. You took a big risk by having sex with this man in your parents' home while they were sleeping. That is why he is so disrespectful to you now and is calling your parents' home a whorehouse.

He wants to have sex with your sister in that very house. He considers her the same type of woman like you. He believes that both of you are 'easy to get' and that you have no standards at all. He believes that your sister will be glad to get his money, just like you were.

I hope what has happened to you will teach your sister a lesson. I know that what this man is saying is affecting you psychologically and emotionally. But try to put it behind you and have nothing to do with him. I wish you well, and take good care of yourself.

Pastor