Two cousins vying for my love

September 26, 2022

Dear Pastor,

Peace be unto you. I am a 63-year-old man and I have lived in the United States of America for many years. My children and my so-called wife are there. Our marriage is not going anywhere. I came to Jamaica, my homeland, three years ago and bought a piece of land. My intention is to put up my retirement home because I am tired of the snow and the hustle and bustle of New York. When my wife saw where the property is located she said she is not going to live there, regardless of how beautiful the house is.

I am staying with one of my brothers who never got married. We get along fine. One of my problems is the women down here are like sharks. They see that I look good and they are always trying to get what I have in my pocket. Right now, two cousins are fighting over me. I told them that I am still married, but they always say, 'Your wife is not here'. They take turn in cooking for me.

I told my brother to take one of them off my hands, but when it comes to women he is dead, and he is mean. He has two children and he has taken care of them, but that's where it stops. He is two years younger then me, but he says he will never get married.

Three years ago when I visited, I asked him to get someone who would take care of the place. I told him I would pay the person. He got this girl and she came and did a good job, so I told her to continue. One day her cousin came to help her, and my brother said they were whispering and telling each other how well I look. One of them says she loves me, and the other says that she loves me too.

Pastor, my wife has disappointed me because we have always said that we would retire in Jamaica. I am ready to build. I have the plans drawn. The builder has told me how much it would cost. However, my wife will not be coming back, so at my age I will have to divorce her. I now need to decide which of these girls I should marry.

I must tell you the truth, I have not touched any one of them -- and you are a big man, you must know what I mean. The temptation is there, but I have not touched any of them.

In addition to that, people in the area have been asking me for money. It seems to me that I am a bank. I have a few dollars, but I can't waste my money on women. I don't drink and I don't gamble. How long am I going to remain the way I am, I don't know. It is hard to just go to the USA to have sex and come back. I may end up getting involved down here. What advice will you give to me?


Dear L.,

Perhaps you should have asked your wife to come to Jamaica and to look at the property before buying it. You took it for granted that she would have loved this place. You did not say, but I assume that it is in the rural area, and your wife has become a city girl. She is accustomed to a modern lifestyle.

You should have allowed her to have an input into the purchasing of the place. I can see that after working so hard and living in New York, you want to come home and live in a much quieter environment. I am glad that your brother can accommodate you, but when it comes to advising you about women, you are not getting anywhere with him. But what do you really want your brother to say? Your brother knows that you are married and you have been behaving very well. These two cousins say they love you and you have not got sexually involved with either of them. I can understand that the temptation is very rough on you, but hold out my brother.

Work out this thing with your wife. You may have to sell the land and buy somewhere else if you want to continue the relationship. Give your wife an opportunity to decide where she wants to live in. In the meantime, continue to be very careful and not get involved with any of these cousins.


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