Worthless boyfriend doesn’t contribute to the house

December 09, 2022

Dear Pastor,

I am a 21-year-old single mother and I am dealing with a man who is 39 years old. He doesn't contribute to anything in the house.

I live with my parents and they are the ones who are taking care of me. My boyfriend is also living here with us. The only time he gives me money is when I tell him that I am seeing my menses. He always gives me the exact money to buy sanitary napkins, and that is $300.

My boyfriend is a taxi driver. He is not driving his own vehicle, but I honestly think that he can do better by helping me out. My daughter is two years old, and if I don't ask him for anything for her, I will not get it. He claims that he loves her as his stepdaughter, but he is not doing much to help me out with her. I don't know what to do with this man. He is the one who takes control of the spending; I cannot see or spend his money. If there is anything I need, he prefers to go and get it. I don't know why he doesn't want to give me any money. I am fed up with this man. It is not like I do not want to work. I am a young girl, but I am unemployed. What should I do pastor?

P.N.

Dear P.N.,

Why should this man be living with you in your parents' home? And what do you see in this man that compels you to be sharing your life with him?

You don't need me to tell you that he is not a good man. You should end the relationship with this man and tell him to go. He is earning money, even though it might be small. Some taxi drivers, although they do not own the vehicles that they are using, often boast that they are earning a substantial amount of money after they have worked and taken out the contracted amount for the owners of the vehicles.

This man with whom you are living doesn't have any shame. He should be giving you money to take care of yourself. He should not expect you to ask him for money, especially when you need it most. Do you mean to tell me that this man also eats your parents' labour and he doesn't contribute to anything? Girl, you are not talking as a person with common sense. When something is needed and you ask him for it, this man prefers to go and purchase it. That tells me that he does not trust you at all. You may be upset with me, but I must say to you that you are not behaving as someone with ambition. You shouldn't have this man living in your parents' house. You are bringing shame on your parents. Let this man go and rent a place on his own. If you play around with him, he may get you pregnant. If at times you cannot even buy the necessary things that you need while you are seeing your menses, he would not even buy the condom to protect you from getting pregnant. I say to you, throw him out, and do so before Christmas morning.

Make sure that in this coming year you seek a job and, also, try and go to evening classes somewhere or to learn a skill. I wish you well.

Pastor

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