I get better loving from my side chick

September 13, 2023

Dear Pastor,

I am a 52-year-old man and I am living with a woman, but we don't have good communication.

She is only one year older and has more education. Sometimes when I try to talk to her about anything, she hisses her teeth, and tells me that I am not making sense. She has done that even before my friends and caused me to feel embarrassed. I do not have a degree like her, but I have common sense.

My mother and father were not educated, but they showed us children how two people can live together in peace and harmony. My woman was never married, but she has one daughter who left for college, lived on campus and never came back home to live with her. Now and then she stops by to see her. Because of this woman's attitude towards me, I have kept a side chick.

She does not embarrass me. If I make a mistake, she quietly talks to me about it whenever we are alone. She talks to me about my appearance. My woman will come to bed in the long nighties her granny used to wear, and with lots of hair pins in her hair. Sometimes when I need her, she turns her back to me. So sometimes I lie and tell her I am going to play dominoes, but I go to spend time with my side chick. It is costing me lots of money to keep another woman. But I do not want to give up this other woman because of what I get from her.

At the moment, I am paying half the rent for my side chick and I give her money for her pocket. As I said, it is expensive, but I feel comfortable having her. I told this woman that I am giving her until the end of the year to change her attitude towards me, otherwise I am going to leave her for another woman. If she doesn't change I will move in with my side chick and make the relationship permanent. Do you agree with me?


Dear S.T.,

I suggest that you should let your woman know that you are a frustrated man. From the tone of your letter, you have told her, but it needs to be repeated.

You might not have had formal education, but you are not a fool. Many individuals who have not been formally educated are intelligent and have become very good business persons. Many of them are wealthy and they have been to the 'university of the street'; that is how I see them. Some people prefer to say that they have been to the 'University of Experience'.

Your woman should not be telling you that you are talking nonsense. She might see it as nonsense, but you may consider that you are imparting knowledge. It seems to me that this woman and you should sit with a family counsellor and try to reason out your differences.

There are some women who believe that because they have more education than their men, they should talk down to them, but intelligent men do not tolerate such behaviour. It is unfortunate that you have to be lying to this woman when you want to be with the woman you described as your side chick. Side chicks can be very costly. I cannot encourage you to continue that sort of relationship. If your present woman at home continues to abuse you, it would be better to end the relationship with her and move on.


Other Tell Me Pastor Stories