Boyfriend trying to search my phone

September 14, 2023

Dear Pastor,

I am living with my boyfriend. We do not have children. I am not working, so he pays all the bills. I am a kept woman. When he comes home in the evenings, he likes to see me looking pretty. I have his meals ready, but sometimes even before he goes to the table, he wants to take me to another table. He calls me several times during the day to find out how I am doing, and if anybody has come by to see me. He says that he trusts me, but I asked him, if he trusts me, why is he worried about people coming by to see me? This man doesn't even want my male relatives to come to the house.

I am not doing anything for him to be worried about. Sometimes his sisters pop in on me, and I am not expecting them. I have caught this man going through my things, including my cell phone, so I put a password on it and now he is upset because he says I am hiding something from him. Is it wrong to have a password on my phone? I am playing it cool because I am waiting to get a call from the embassy for an interview. I don't want this man to know anything about it because he will try to stop me.

I had a boyfriend and he caused my boyfriend and I to break up, and that is why I am living here with him. My ex-boyfriend doesn't know where I am living, and every day I have to stay in this house with all the windows up, watching television and most times without wearing much clothes, waiting on this man to come home. The good thing about it is that every cent that he gives me, I can save because he pays all the bills. But I am not a very happy girl. I want to get out of this place.

Initial Withheld

Dear Writer,

I think I understand what you are saying. You were not faithful to the man you had before you met this man with whom you are living.

This man remembers all the tricks you used to play on your former lover, so he believes that you will do the same while both of you are living together. He will never trust you, so don't behave as if this man is stupid. He knows that you are a trickster. He will not change. He is treating you as if you are royal, but that is only because he has you under full control.

You can never be happy with the life that you are living. Discuss your problems with a lawyer and find a way of escape from this man.


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