Husband caught having sex at work

Dear Pastor,

My husband and I will be celebrating our fourth year of marriage next April. However, since last year, life has not been very good to me. My husband has gone astray. He has become involved with one of his co-workers, who is also married.

He used to deny that they were having an affair, but he cannot deny it any more because one of the girls who works in the company caught them having sex on a couch. She shouted out and told the others what she saw.

The young woman had her panties off and when she ran, she did not even have time to take up her underwear. By the time he got home, I had got the news that my husband and this girl were caught having sex in the office. When he came in, he got down on his knees and begged me for forgiveness. He said it was the first time he was cheating. He said the girl came on to him, and that she did not lock the office door.

I told him that I did not believe him. I wanted to call the young woman but he begged me not to. I have put on some weight and there were times I noticed that he would ignore me and call me fat. This girl is slim. When I questioned my husband about her, he said he knew for a long time that she loved him, and she has always been telling him that she is going to take him away from me.

I do not know what to do, because my husband has not been taking me out as often as he used to do. We used to go to the country to visit relatives; now he cannot find the time for us to do so. I do not want my marriage to break up. So, I am asking you for your advice.

This incident at the office has gone very far, and my husband is worried that the board of management may fire them. We have car payments to make and our mortgage has to be paid. I am prepared to go abroad and allow my husband to struggle for putting me through such embarrassment. What do you have to say?

N.

Dear N.,

Your husband might be speaking the truth, but I don't believe him.

His co-worker might love him, but he seems to be putting all the blame for his lack of discretion on her. That is what I will not accept. Both of them were not careful. How can an employee burn with such passion that they would have sex at the workplace and forget to lock the doors to the office? You may forgive your husband for what he did if you care to do so, but I don't believe that he is telling the full truth.

Having said the above, I hope that he and the young woman will be able to maintain their employment.

You and your husband should go and see a family counsellor, and that needs to happen soon.

Pastor