Wicked father strip and beat me

Dear Pastor,

I am in my 20s, but I have some issues that I have to be dealing with.

You might not believe it, but I am married and I have two children. I grew up hating my father. When I was 15-16 years old, my father was still beating me, and my mother couldn't do anything about it because if she tried to intervene, he would beat her, too. At that age, my father demanded that I take off every piece of clothes, and he beat me without mercy.

I have terrible marks on my skin that I have tried to get rid of but can't. They are on my body because of my father's wicked beatings. I have never been able to wear bikinis or two-piece bathing suits to the beach because I am ashamed of the marks on my skin. I have gone to the beach in long pants because I am ashamed of the way I look.

When I met my husband, I had to explain to him why I was so ashamed to take off my clothes. I did not want him to see the marks. My father is now an old man, and he is always reaching out to me for help. I have tried to help him, but in my heart I feel that he should suffer. I couldn't run away when I was growing up because I didn't have anybody to go to. I was never a bad girl who wanted to go and live with a man, so I stayed out late and suffered. My father beat me for any little foolishness. So I give thanks for the type of husband I have. He has never beaten his children, and I respect him for that.

I told my father that I wanted him to suffer because of what he did to me, and he said he was only trying to raise me up right. But to abuse me wasn't the right way. To strip me naked when I was a teenager could not be right. Why did my father want to see my nakedness? I have asked him that, and he has no proper answer to give to me.

My mother eventually left my father, and she is living with my family. I want my father to go and live in a poor house. If he should die, I don't want anybody in the poor house to call us because he is too wicked. Not even church my father allowed me to attend. He said I might use church as a pass to go and look for men.

My husband paid for me to go back to school, and today, I have a good job. My children are attending good schools. I can tell the world that there are still some good men in Jamaica. I have one, and many others are out there. I feel so much better writing to you. Keep up the good work, Pastor.

K.P.

Dear K.P.,

It's a pity that your mother was so afraid of your father that she did not report him to the police.

Your father should have been arrested and charged for physical abuse. No one should suffer such abuse. Your father was a terrible father. Now he is trying to be nice to you and giving lame reasons for his bad treatment of you. Why would a man strip his 15-year-old daughter and beat her mercilessly? I can answer my own question. He could do so because he is the number-one fool in Jamaica. I am not encouraging you to hate him, but I am sure it's going to be hard to forgive him for what he did to you. I want you, however, to pray for your father. You are going to find that it is difficult to hate him if you pray for him.

I am glad that your husband sees more in you than your legs. He knows that you are a wonderful wife, and both of you have wonderful children. So love your children and love your husband. May the Lord bless you.

Pastor