My husband has no use in bed

Dear Pastor,

This is the first time I am writing to you. I hope you can help me. I am 39 years old. My husband is 59 and is pretty useless.

We do not have a good sex life. He has not been able to maintain an erection. If he is able to get one, it is not strong and he blames me for everything. My husband confessed that he has gone with two other women and there was nothing wrong with his erection; it was firm and everything was normal. So the problem must be with me.

I know I am not the problem. I told him that instead of blaming me, he should go to the doctor and check himself out. I have not done anything to make this man unhappy. He is a heavy drinker and I told him that perhaps that has affected his ability to maintain his erection. He drinks hard liquor and now he is always depressed. I am very unhappy because I find myself wanting to be satisfied by a man, but I have to hold everything down.

Can you say something about impotence that may help women who suffer because their men are impotent?

Unhappy Wife

Dear Unhappy Wife,

Let me begin by saying that all men, regardless of age, may experience impotence. But sometimes, the period is brief; it does not last long.

But the man's condition gets worse if his spouse mocks him or laughs at him and tells him that he is no good, and she is going to give him bun. A man would become very anxious and may suffer from anxiety. He may not even want to try to have sex because he may believe that he would fail in his effort. His cure would depend largely on his own attitude and the attitude of his partner. If his partner is very cooperative and she encourages him, he can improve. She can lovingly massage him and even accompany him to see a doctor, but she should never laugh and mock him or tell him his days are done .

A man who cannot satisfy his wife may lose self esteem, especially when she calls him an old man without use. Bear in mind that young men suffer from impotence briefly from time to time. Every man wants to know that in that area of his life, he is good, because men foolishly believe that in the area of sex, they ought to be very good, and they can 'kill' anything. Why do you think that so many people buy all these things to give them energy and stamina in the bedroom? The answer is, they do not want any woman to say that they are done for.

I might have said it in the past, but I will say it again. A dear woman told me on the Dear Pastor Show that her husband thought he was a hot rod, but sometimes when she gave him a 'hot one', he slept for days. A man, I am sure would rather sleep for days than not be able to perform at all. A man's mind has much to do with impotence. He has to learn to be positive. But whether or not his problem persists, he should see his doctor.

Pastor