JACKASS SEY DI worl' no level. Jackass sey di blasted West Indies crickit team wait until it way too late fi do any good before dem come good.
Y'know, like most of us in this here tiny part of the world, Jackass is a masochist when it comes on to the West Indies cricket team. No matter how many times they slap us as they flash at a near wide and get caught behind the wicket, no matter how many times they crush our round objects as they bowl over after ineffective over, no matter how many times they let our dreams slip through their fingers as they fumble yet another simple catch, I keep on watching.
Even in snatches. I mean, Jackass seemed to have a jinx. As soon as he tuned in and kicked back to watch a bit, a wicket went, so instead of watching Jackass wanted to kick out the screen.
So, with England, and by no stretch of the imagination a top-flight England team, having won the current series 3-0, the Windies having been wrecked for 47 at Sabina (where else, pray tell?), Jackass was more in a mood for some Jinny (and that, for you poor city folk, is a feminine ass) than cricket over the weekend.
Until, lo and behold, he tuned in with Brian Lara, he of fine voice and thick skull, on 165.
Jackass had to blink, peer closely, blink again and say "heeeee-haaaaaw". And switch it off. After all, knowing the Jackass jinx well, if I continued watching then Lara would swipe and get out.
So Jackass left it, did many, many things, skipped out one whole day, then tuned in again to see England batting, trying to not look too lacklustre as they eyed a whopping 751. Declared, to boot.
Now, the world is not level at all. The West Indies have already lost the series, England have already claimed their first Test series win in the Caribbean from before I was born and we are all set to hate their guts and stone them whenever and wherever we see them.
Then they go and post a score like this and we say... DAMN!!!
So, we are left in a quandary. Do we say 'dash wey di dutty bway dem' or do we say 'give dem a nex' chance?'
Hmmm. 47 all out. Hmmmm. 751 for 5 declared. Hmmm. Partying on the mound in Sabina. Hmmm. Playing with heart and guts in last test.
Hmm. This one is harder to chew over than a stray piece of barbed wire in the Spanish needle.
To hell with it! Hate them backside! One win, especially when it matters not much to the series, but only the whitewash, is not enough. Look at it another way. Maybe they saved the best for last knowing that a good performance in the final Test would get us on their side, that we would forget the debacle of the previous matches and say OK, give them a chance.
In other words, dem tek Jackass a company fi ^^##!!!%%#!!! fool! A who dem a deal wid, eh (breathing hard)? Me no go Sabina, but a me dem a hadvatise to! (snort, snort!) Waapen, Jackass no use cellie too! (paws ground).
Mek dem GU WEH!!!!
Jackass sey di worl' no level. Jackass sey dem cyaan sweet him up wid no last match big prafarmance.
