DEAR PASTOR,
I am having a big problem with my girlfriend. I am 24 and my girlfriend is 21. I am a university graduate and my girlfriend is a part-time student at university. She is perfect for me. We love each other very much and will be getting married in July. The problem is I think she might be a bisexual. She has a lot of lesbian friends who often sleep over her house. When I ask her about it, she says she is not a lesbian, but she is okay with it. However, she hates gay men. I stopped by her house to surprise her one evening, but instead of surprising her, I was the one who got the surprise. I went in only to find my girlfriend in the bath with her best friend, who is a full blown lesbian that hates my guts and all men for that matter.
I was so shocked to see them performing oral sex with each other. From that day it is like an everyday thing for her and her friends. She says they have been doing it since they met, which is more than nine years now and there is no reason for them to stop. It is just another way of enjoying herself. This is driving me crazy because I can't leave her. I love her too much, but she is refusing to stop this nastiness. One of her straight friends told me she doesn't respect me because she allowed her friends to carry on their nastiness before my eyes. We were going through the door one night to attend a party when one of her lesbian friends jumped in front of her and started kissing and fondling her all over and telling her to stay.
Get intimate
My girlfriend kissed me and put me through the door. They all laughed about the whole thing. I ended up going to the party alone while my girlfriend stayed home with her friends. The next day she called me and apologised and said it meant nothing and she is in love with me. I am very confused about what to do because some weeks later my girlfriend suggested that I have sex with her and some of her lesbian friends at the same time.
These girls act so normal in public that no one would ever guess that they are lesbians. They only use the men for money, but they never get intimate with them or even keep them as friends. It is pure girls. I found a particular sex toy in my girlfriend's bedroom which she doesn't need if we are together. When I asked her about it, she said sometimes they get lonely when I am not around, but I think she and her friends use it to have sex with each other. One night I was staying over at her house and her best friend was there too. We slept in the same bed. I was awakened in the middle of the night by some noise. When I switched on the light I saw my girlfriend's best friend on top of her having sex. What do you think that I should do?
M.J., St. Andrew
Dear M.J.,
It seems to me that you have got into the act too. To talk about that you cannot leave this girl is to tell me that you do not have any guts. And that you are willing to tolerate what you describe as nastiness. What you have described to me is not normal behaviour. The Bible describes such practices as an abomination to God.
Pastor
