JACKASS SEY DI worl' no level. Jackass sey it come een like tings ongly happen to yu when yu no want dem, but when yu want dem yu woulda fene grease before it come to pass.
Have you ever noticed it, that whenever you are doing something slightly - just slightly - illegal like say... driving without a driver's licence (and the car is not insured, either, by the way) there is a police spot check on every corner? And all the cops seem to zero in on you? Yet, when you are finally legal, licence, insurance, fitness and all, and you want a policeman to stop you so that you can casually flash your papers in front of him, they show no interest at all in you?
Have you ever noticed (this is for the men, now) that just on that special occasion - like the woman you have been chasing for the past five years finally decides to let you catch her - that you are broke, your car is in the garage, you have just had an outbreak of something you cannot swear is not herpes and, after you have worked around all these problems, you last all of one minute?
But let it be with someone you are making love to just for the hell of it - someone who, for the record, you go to visit at midnight when you are sure that the neighbours are gone and make sure that you leave before the sun comes up on your folly - and you are a regular stallion. Cyaan done. At the peak of your game. Can do 100 push-ups after.
Have you ever noticed that in ordinary conversation you are as sharp as a razor - quips and sharp comments are flying here and there, you seem to be a walking dictionary. Yet, put you behind a podium to make a speech and all of a sudden you are as witty as a skunk - and your damned zipper keeps sliding down as well?
Have you ever noticed that you are always looking neat and trim, yet, on the one day you look as if you had a run-in with a cruise missile you 'buck up' that ex - or the current partner of the ex - when you always made a point of not looking 'mash up' when you encountered them?
And you see them give you the once over and know that they are going straight back to the 'susu friends' to say "lawd, de howl Jackass mash up yu see! Him mussi all lose him wuk an it look like him have een false teet".
Have you ever noticed that when you don't want to see a policeman - like when your house keys are lost and you are breaking into your own turf about 3:00 a.m. - at least two are on the scene, but when you need one - like when your wallet is being stolen by two knife men - there is none in sight?
Have you ever noticed that the world really is not level - or is that we do not notice when it is?
Jackass sey di worl' no level. Jackass sey nuff time a ongly when tings no go like ow we want we sight it up.
