Tell Me Pastor

Troubled teenager

Dear Pastor,

I am a troubled teen. During my 17 years on earth I have had to live a life that is seemingly more adult than that of a teen. From an early age I have been seen as a little man and now when I try to live life out to the fullest these last days as a youth, I am seen as immature and ignorant. Is it wrong for me to want to enjoy my missed childhood?

Now I think this has had an effect on my relationships. Hardly any of my vast number of relationships have passed the three month period and all the others that do are mainly on and off. I am always having more than one significant person in my life. Is my background or past to blame? I seek your fatherly advice.

C.R., St. Catherine

Dear C.R.,

What you are going through is not uncommon among young people your age. So don't be too concerned.However, I don't want you to believe that I am saying that you ought to flirt. You have an adult body but a child's mind. And perhaps you are suffering from mood swings as you go through this stage of life. At your age you have to learn to deal with criticism and rejection. So far, you are not doing very well.

What I am trying to say is that it is quite common for a fellow your age to be in and out of relationships because you are still an adolescent, struggling to grow up. You are still searching for identity and acceptance by others. Of course, I am talking also of sexual identity. You are preoccupied with wanting to be loved, feeling loved, and falling in love. And you have strong feelings to share such love.

As you grow up, life will change. You will see things in a different light. Therefore, do not believe that something is wrong with you. No, you are just a young man going through struggles that others have experienced. You will be accepted. Remember, the struggles you have now will help you to mature.

Pastor