Commentary

Making awful noises

Make a joyful noise unto the Lord, all ye lands. Serve the Lord with gladness: come before his presence with singing...Psalm 100

HAVING READ PSALM 100, I wonder how many people who are into and who claim to 'sing' gospel music, understand what those first two lines mean.

Make a joyful noise, the first verse says, but a lot of what I listen to in the form of gospel music, especially at the local level, is in no way joyful. In fact, in many ways, some of what passes for gospel music here in Jamaica, the singing is quite similar to the sound that a cat makes when it is being strangled. And that's not joyful I can tell you. But for some reason, some people refuse to face that reality.

In many ways it is good that God is not like man, because after hearing some of this music that is supposed to be praising Him, He would probably end up taking dozens of Advil every day. Then after the headache has gone, He would smite the offenders, and smite them wickedly.

The other day while I was waiting for one of our local television stations to air a Grand Prix track meet, the station was showing some of what I was told to be the entrants in this year's Gospel Song Competition. I felt like I was being tortured on my way to hell. The music and the singing were horrible. In many ways some of the singers sounded like they were having their toenails removed with pliers.

I'll admit I am not a real fan of gospel music. Some of it, no matter the quality, sounds like they're mourning over someone who died, instead of being a celebration of the Christian faith. Most of what I used to hear on Sundays at church or on television, made me feel like I wanted to kill myself, it was that depressing.

However, people like Ce Ce Winans and Kirk Franklin and several others have managed to convince me that gospel music does not have to be boring. What it has to be though, is of good quality. Many of us will never criticize gospel music because of what it is, and that is not right. Gospel music, like all forms of music, is just that, music. And, it must be held to a high standard, especially if you're going to be using it to praise the most powerful of beings, an entity that we worship. So when people are going to be telling me that it is not right to say that a gospel singer sounds like someone dragging their fingernails across a blackboard, I tell them to get real.

I am betting that if locally, gospel music was of a high standard and perhaps, if it was not so mind-numbingly boring, a lot more people would listen to it and just maybe a lot more people would turn their lives over to the Lord. Lord knows we could use the help what with the spiralling murder rate. A few thousand more saved souls, especially those souls that are wielding the weaponry that frees our souls from our bodies long before they're ready to part ways, would certainly help ease the burden.

Plus, we could even export it and make some more money for the country. Plus, the sheep could build more churches on top of the million churches already here.

Whenever I go off about the gospel music thing, people around me always tell me some crap like the music has been inspired by the divine. By who?! If that is the kind of stuff that the Lord is going to inspire, then I don't ever want to go to heaven because there are already enough headaches here on earth for me to want to die and go face even more of the same.

Seriously though, we need to do something quickly about the horrible gospel music. After all, Psalms did say 'joyful' noise, not an awful noise.