Features

42 years of intimacy

By WANDEKA GAYLE, Staff Reporter

AFTER ALMOST 42 years of marriage, Ilene and Carl Ford of Havant Way, Portmore, St. Catherine, are still the romantics they were when they met in the late 1950s.

Carl, 70 and Ilene, 67, who both grew up in small districts in St. Mary, told THE WEEKEND STAR that they were attracted to each other from their first meeting. "I was living in Free Hill District and then my parents moved to Heywood Hall, where Carl lived," Ilene recalled.

Carl, a former Assistant Superintendent of the Correctional Services, told THE WEEKEND STAR that he met his future wife at the home of a mutual friend. "Night was coming down and you know how it get dark in the country, so my friend said to me, let me call 'Uncle Carl' to take you home," Ilene said sneaking a look at her husband. "So he came and took me home and we got to talking."

Attraction

Ilene admitted that she liked what she saw. "There was some attraction there and I was really drawn to him because he was slim back then," she said pointing to their wedding picture. Carl smiled and said, "I knew about her long before we get a chance to meet. After we meet something sparked from there."

Shortly after they met, Ilene moved from St. Mary to live with her sister in Kingston. Carl admitted that he was crushed. "I didn't feel happy about it at all but I guess there was no alternative for her," he said.

Although they corresponded regularly, it was not enough for Carl. One year after Ilene left, he moved to Kingston. When the two 'lovebirds' were reunited, they would hit the town together going to the cinema and dances.

Approximately two years after their first meeting, Carl popped the question at the Majestic Cinema in downtown Kingston. "We were watching one of them love shows and I just lean over to her and said, 'I going to marry you, you know," he said. "But I never believe him," Ilene added. "I had to consider that he might change his mind one day."

It took meeting his parents and his meeting her parents for reality to finally set in for Ilene. Nine months later, on June 29, 1963, they exchanged wedding vows at the Bayley Vale Church of God of Holiness in St. Mary.

The couple started their new life at Wellington Road, Kingston. Carl had been working as a warden at the time and his wife was an attendant at the National Chest Hospital on Barbican Road, St. Andrew.

Ilene's yearning to have children was never satisfied. "Sometimes I do regret not having children," she said. "But I would always take care of my nieces and nephews and even some children in our lane. But you must never question the will of God."

Carl added that while he had a daughter from a previous union, he was saddened that he could not have children with his wife. "I used to worry me but after a while I got over it," he said.

The Fords have put their energy into making their relationship work. One practical ingredient is keeping the bedroom warm. "If we married for so long you must expect that we must still be romantic," Karl said laughing. They were not shy to explain that while they have lived for more than half a century, they were still very intimate as often as they can. "Sex is a way to keep ourselves active," Carl said with a good-natured laugh. "That is part of life and people not to try to blank that out of their lives when they get older."

Ilene added with a mysterious smile, "No, you must never consider yourself old and cold. You are as young as you feel. Right now we look even younger than some young people back home. "

Ilene supplied that in 2001 she had to be hospitalised for 13 days after a cow attacked her, leaving several fractured ribs, a bruised lung, and internal bleeding. "I was conscious the whole time but Carl was so loving to me, he was so attentive when I was sick," she said.

Carl added that things were not always easy in their marriage but whenever they worked together they were able to overcome any obstacle.