Tell Me Pastor

Getting a six for a nine

Dear Pastor,

I have been dating a lady for a very long while, over ten years. Our union has produced a child whom we both love very much. I have cared for both mother and child from day one and I still do. The problem is that there is always a shadow of doubt in her dealings. She is always hiding stuff from me.

She takes her calls in other rooms and if she can't leave the room, she will not answer the phone. She goes to places that I can't know about and if I ask, it is always the same answer. Such as, "Is it that you don't trust me?" Or "Do you want to come and see?"

She got a job overseas and recently returned. As soon as she got off the plane she made it a point to tell me how broke she was. This was after the fact that she was not sending any money home. I pretended not to hear her. I was never one to go in a woman's purse and search through it but this time I made this "one time pledge."

And, guess what, it paid off. I saw a couple US hundred dollars in the purse. I removed one and guess what, it was never missed. Three days later I had to give her some money, as she was "broke." I gave her two thousand Jamaican dollars and she gladly accepted it like a crack-head that had sold all the furniture.

Now, I am confused as hell over the whole relationship issue. I have never withheld anything from her. As a matter of fact, I think that I tell her everything and include her in all my plans. What's a guy to do?

J.R, St. Catherine, Jamaica

Dear J.R,

I agree with you; something is not right. Why is this woman hiding information from you? What is she doing with her money? I think you ought to know what is going on. I could never encourage you to marry her unless she is prepared to tell you what she has done or is doing with her money and why she is so secretive about everything. Is it that she is afraid that one day you will walk out on her and she will be left broke? Is she involved in some illegal matter? Brother, you need to know what is going on.

I suggest that if she is not prepared to tell you what she has been doing with her money and why she is so secretive with her money, you should not consider her a suitable life partner. You may be setting up yourself for big trouble if you just allow this lady to do whatever she wants to do without your knowledge.

Pastor