Tell Me Pastor

OLD FLAME STILL HOT

Dear Pastor,

I am a Jamaican living in the United Kingdom for the past 16 years. I recently went back on holiday after such a long time, and it is as if I've never been away. I had the best time ever.

While in Jamaica I met an old boyfriend of mine. I realised that I still had feelings for him after such a long time. We both started a relationship which I enjoyed a lot.

When I first met him I asked him if he had a girlfriend and he told me 'yes', which I found to be very honest.

Throughout my holiday we saw quite a lot of each other; it wasn't just sex. We talked a lot and he is the same caring and down to earth person that I left in Jamaica. I am now back in the United Kingdom.

While in Jamaica we promised each other that we would keep in contact. As we speak more and more on the phone, I am beginning to notice that I am falling for him big time. I told him how I am feeling and he said that he feels the same way.

I don't know what to do because I don't want to be hurt by anyone. I am always a loser in love and am very scared. I will be returning to Jamaica in a few months and I don't want my heart to lead me to do something that I don't want to do.

Please tell me what to do.

C. L., United Kingdom

Dear C. L,

This man told you that he had a girlfriend. Is he prepared to end the relationship with her and go with you? Would you want him to do that? Would that be fair to the girl?

You are old enough to know that when a woman is on holiday and is moving around with a man, things can be very sweet and enjoyable, but when they have to live together it is a different matter.

I say to you, my dear, be careful what you do. Make sure this man tells you the absolute truth. Don't accept everything he says to you as gospel. When you return to Jamaica, ask him to allow you to meet with his woman in Jamaica if he is serious about you.

What I am trying to tell you is to help you avoid pain and disappointment in the future. If he refuses to allow you to meet with his girlfriend, don't go further with him.

By the way, make sure that the woman he introduces to you as his girlfriend is truly his girlfriend and that she is not pretending to be so that means that you should get her name and address long before you suggest to him that you would love to meet her.

Don't allow your heart to rule your head, my dear.

Pastor