Tell Me Pastor

'Cass cass' in the house

Dear Pastor,

My girlfriend and I have been together for five years and it seems like we met yesterday. Lately all we do is curse. I would say it is her fault but I am also in the mix, so it is us. We can't go out and don't complain; everything is a fuss. "Why don't you do this?" "Who is that you are talking to?" "Why you have that tone in your voice?" This is all I hear everyday. Why we are still together? Only God knows.

I sat down like a decent human being and explained to her that I am having a hard time with all the fuss and that we should try to figure it out and see if we can fix the problem. She said I don't pay her attention, all I talk about is football and what I am going to do in the future. I don't see anything wrong with it but I told her that I would stop all these things for her sake. I told her that she is getting real miserable like an old woman and asked her why she stopped fixing herself up like she used to do. It is not as though her life is in sorrow. We cleared the air after that little chat and after two weeks we have gone back to where we were before.

Spiteful

Now, she spites me and does things to hurt me and I said that I am not going to make the devil fool me. I won't stoop to her level. I am going to let her continue to hate because I am happy and my friends and I get along. What she wants she is not getting and she realises that she is not getting to me so she decides to hate me.

Pastor, too much crime, hatred and bad mind people are in Jamaica and that is why we have so much violence. She recently told me that she is going to cheat on me. I told her to go ahead because I am not the one doing it. I love her but there is too much headaches and arguments. My heart is tired. What would happen if we lived under the same roof? One of us would have committed suicide. I am 23 and she is 21.

F. G.,

Kingston

Dear F.G,

If both of you think that you love each other, you should seek counselling. It is evident that you can't resolve your problems by yourselves. I don't even get the impression that you respect each other, but if both of you believe that you have a future together make an appointment to see a family counsellor.

Pastor.