Commentary

A letter to 'Mr Right'

By WANDEKA GAYLE, Staff Reporter

Dear Mr. Right,

For centuries, people have been singing your praises but I have yet to meet you. However, let me take this opportunity to get a few things off my chest.

First of all, what is taking you so long? I keep running into your impostors whose only aim is to deceive, plunder, conquer and move on to the next conquest. These impostors come in many forms; they can be Bible-preaching, soul-stirring hypocrites or the sneaky guy playing the shy-guy card to a hilt.

Of course, they seem genuine, others far more so than some, but they have found ways to manipulate, or vanish when they actually are needed the most.

Many say that you are not even real as your mother has died long before you were born; hence, you are simply a figment of someone's overactive imagination. I don't tend to believe, but if you don't show yourself soon enough I may just give in to this belief.

Another thing is that people claim that you are perfect. You are financially and emotionally well adjusted, you are not given to fits of rage and jealousy, you do not have homosexual tendencies, you want children but will not burden your woman with six and leave when you are called upon to help.

You are not influenced by testosterone pressure to 'be a man' and hit your woman whenever you see fit. You believe in God and hence do not act like a demi-god and the world's greatest gift to women. You believe in getting your hands dirty in the soil but not in shady misdeeds, and most of all, you love your woman with great intensity and devotion and will never look outside the matrimonial home to 'sample the flavours'. Oh, and you are supposedly tall, dark and handsome.

I really need to know if any of this is true because as the adage goes, "whatever seems too good to be true usually is."

I am angry with you, though, because while you seem to elude me, many women have left relationships they consider 'mediocre' in hopes that you will come bounding through their door, sweep them off their feet and give them the kind of electric love that they read about in Mills and Boon and Danielle Steele.

By the tone of this letter, I suppose you find me cynical and bitter but this is only because of your delayed entrance into my life. I have gone through hardships and despairs, fits of loneliness and heartbreak simply because you never turned up.

Here is a suggestion. Why not teach these way-ward, less perfect men how to love a Jamaican woman? We may be feisty and opinionated but we just want understanding, attention and compassion.

Tell them that we prefer the small gestures like giving us the window seat on the plane, leaving a note on the fridge that says, 'I will be thinking about you all day. See you later', washing the dishes more often, or even actually LISTENING to us when we talk.

Tell them we would prefer a man who remembers anniversaries, birthdays and special occasions, not those who can tell you the moment when the basketball and cricket seasons begin and not even remember his woman's middle name. Tell them that honesty is not just a word in the Oxford Dictionary but an actual trait that will come in handy with the ladies.

And, if you cannot teach them, just hurry up. You know where to find me.

Yours,

Heartbroken.

E-mail: wandekag@yahoo.com;

wandeka.gayle@gleanerjm.com