Tell Me Pastor

Heed the wisdom of the years

Dear Pastor,

I read the letter from the 18-year-old girl living in London and I cried. I pray that she won't waste her life and opportunities on some loser who takes her money, won't work and expects her to support him from abroad, and yet he wants her to have a baby although she is still a child herself.

As an 18-year-old, she should be enjoying the company of male friends, not lovers, and she should be concentrating on her studies while exploring her opportunities in England.

Babies should be the last thing on her mind. She needs to become an independent woman and learn how to manage herself and her career. She should not become another unwed mother living off welfare in England. Nor should she become dependent on her child's father in Jamaica, who, to me, sounds like he is "worthless".

Need maturity

You cannot possibly know who the love of your life is at 18. You need maturity. You also need to know yourself well before you can experience the fullness of a committed relationship from an equally contributing partner.

I am 45 and I became a parent at 35. I too married a Jamaican man who expected me to support him, and he would raise his hand to me. I became sensible and I now live alone. I support myself and my children and I also study. I have lived a full life, and I am committed to my children. I think 18 is just too young; It is the time when you have not experienced any life past childhood.

Pastor, I thought the advice that you gave about a baby not being a toy was good, and I hope that many young women will listen to this. Having a baby will not keep your man. It will just keep a bad man around that will give you problems. A good man would not pressure a young woman to have a baby before she has finished her schooling and reached some financial independence.

I pray that this girl gets some sense and focus more on her schoolwork and less on boyfriends.

M.P.,

Australia

Dear M.P.,

Well said. Thanks for your contribution. Too many teenagers are being pressured to have babies. They should be enjoying their youth and pursuing a solid education. And too many young men are doing nothing but preying on these naïve and sometimes very innocent young girls.

Pastor.