Tell Me Pastor

LUST IN CONFUSION

DEAR PASTOR,

I am friendly with this guy who moved here from Jamaica about a year ago. In the beginning it was established that we could only be friends. He had a girlfriend in Jamaica that he had been with for the last 2 years. Recently we had a long talk, we had to face reality because of what is happening between us. It is more than a friendship.

He says that he wants to break up with his girlfriend in Jamaica. However, he is nervous about what his family and her family will say. She is inexperienced in life in terms of working and being goal oriented. He is 25 years old and the girlfriend is 20.

He told her about me. She claims that we are sleeping together. According to him, it is getting to a point where he does not want to answer her calls. He has mistakenly called my name when talking to her on the phone. He has to make an effort not to call her my name. I told him that he has to make a decision about what he wants to do. He says that he feels that it is not fair to break up with her by telling her that he is interested in someone else. He claims that she is a very unstable person.

April fool's joke

He played an April fool's joke with her. Her mother called him to tell him that he can't do that to her, joke or no joke, because she spent most of the day crying and vomiting. I am confused as hell. We are nothing more than friends, but I can truly see myself marrying him and having his kids. As we continued our two hour talk, he told me that he has been praying to find a way to make a decision on this issue.

I have prayed and continue to do so. I am not telling him that he has to break up with her or praying that he does so. I just want to be happy and my grandma always told me that when you love someone, you want them to be happy too. This is really getting to me. Most days I find myself thinking about him. When I am about to send him a text or call him, he would be calling me at the same time. I was at some point trying to think he is throwing game at me. He has not tried to push sex on me.

I am so confused. Sometimes I think I need to stop talking and hanging out with him. On the other hand I do not want to.

Confused, New York

Dear Confused,

It would not be long before this man tells you that he is ready for both of you to be intimate. That does not necessarily mean he is going to end the relationship with the girl in Jamaica. This man knows very well that the girl in Jamaica has not done him any wrong.

He still loves her. Any bad thing that he tells you now about her is a makeup story. Both of you are going out together and you are anxious to claim him as your man. Don't behave as if this girl does not deserve him and that you are the better choice.

Pastor