Tell Me Pastor

Great Depression

DEAR PASTOR,

I have been living with this guy for almost eleven years. There is also a child involved. This guy cheats on me constantly. During the times of my depression, I went and slept with another guy. This did not make it right, but I wanted companionship. I got pregnant and I am not sure who the father of the baby is. This guy I am living with is a good father and I am afraid of losing him. To be truthful, my little girl has no resemblance of him. I think he knows that also but does not want to face it. He told his friends that he will never marry me.

He said had it not been for the baby he would have gone alreadyPastor, it gets really difficult for me at times, especially when I look at the baby and him. Her real father is somewhere in Kingston, and is asking that I do a blood test. Pastor, I will wait on your response.

D., St.Catherine

Dear D.,

He has accepted the child as his daughter and might be willing to leave it that way. If he raises the matter with you at any time, ask him whether or not you should have a paternity test done.

A paternity test will determine for sure who the father of your child is. Yes, you suspect that the man with whom you are living did not father this child and others seem to think so too. However, it is none of their business, they are just nosy but you have to live with your conscience. It is good that the man with whom you are living has never questioned you on the matter and has accepted the child. That of course does not mean that questions have not arisen in his mind and that he has not heard from others that he has gotten a 'jacket'.

Perhaps that is one of the reasons why he said he will never marry you. Having said the above, I wonder if you would be creating problems for yourself by doing the test. After all, the man with whom you are living may not want you do such a test. He has accepted the child as his daughter and might be willing to leave it that way. If he raises the matter with you at any time, ask him whether or not you should have a paternity test done.

Pastor