Tell Me Pastor

My place

DEAR PASTOR,

I am writing to you to ask for your advice. I was born in the country area of Jamaica, and later, when I was about 10 years old, I was taken to Kingston by a nice family to live with them and become a part of their family.

Recently, I found out that I was not legally adopted by this family even though for years I was led to believe that I was. I have always wondered about my place in the family, and now I am feeling more like an outsider.

What should I do? I love my 'parents' and 'siblings' very much, but now I keep wondering if they feel the same way about me. I am always trying to do things for all of them as a way to get them to accept me, but I am now tired.

I am now in my 30s and I have children of my own and I love them unconditionally. I only wish that I could have felt that I was loved that way. Please advise.

A.H., Florida

Dear A.H.,

Set your mind at ease. Discuss the matter with the people who adopted you. They will tell you the whole story.

It is very important that you clear the air with them because you do need to know why you were not legally adopted and why they led you to believe that you were.

Be careful how you approach them because you do not want to give them the impression that you are ungrateful.

Pastor