Dear Pastor,
I am 28 and my husband is 33. I just found out that he has been cheating on me for the past couple of months. When I found out and confronted him, he denied it at first, and then when I went with proof, he told me that it is my fault why he cheated.
How can it be my fault? If we are having problems we should be able to talk about them. If I had gone out and cheated, could I then tell him that it is his fault? The thing is it is not the first time that he is doing it. It was done many times before and I just forgot about it, so maybe that is why he continued to do it.
I am not going to pretend to be innocent because I am not. I have never cheated on him, but at one point in the relationship I almost got with someone, but I stopped before it went further. I went to my husband and told him everything. He told me he forgave me and we moved on.
That was five years ago. And now it seems like every year my husband has a new woman. Please tell me what to do because there are two children involved.
M. H., Kingston, Jamaica
Dear M. H.,
I suggest that you and your husband go for professional help. Both of you need to see a family counsellor if your marriage is to be saved. Some men tell their women that it is their fault why they cheat. They play the "blame game".
On the other hand, men expect women to accept anything from them. If the women put on a little weight, some men fuss and carry on but the men think that it is all right to have big 'pot bellies'.
I repeat, talk to your husband. Tell him how you feel about the situation and insist that both of you go for counselling.
Pastor
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