DEAR PASTOR,
I am only 18 years old and I had sex with this guy who is 25 years old. He said that he now owns me, but I do not want him anymore.
What can I do? Can you help me?
J., England
Dear J.,
This man does not own you. However, some guys like to believe that they do. What he is trying to say to you is that now that he has had sex with you, he controls you and that you cannot do anything without his permission. He may also be saying to you that the sex was so good that you should never want to go to another man. Whatever he may mean, I want you to let him know that no man owns a woman in a civilised society. Even when people are married, the man should not believe that the woman becomes his property. Those days are done.
I wish you had said more in your letter. Perhaps now that you have had sex with this man, you have come to realise that you made a mistake and you want to move on. You should tell him so. Perhaps you have other reasons for not wanting the relationship to continue. Whatever the real reason may be, he needs to respect your position and leave you alone.
May I caution you, however, to be very careful. It is unwise to be promiscuous. Don't allow anybody to pressure you into having sex, but if you are determined to have sex, be sure to protect yourself.
Pastor
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