DEAR PASTOR,
Keep up the good work and keep giving good advice. I have a problem with trusting men. Whenever guys are interested in me, I always brush them off because I don't trust them. There's this guy that I know since I was 14 years old. He is one year older than I am. He is my uncle's wife's brother. The first time I saw him, I fell in love with him. I don't know if it is right to date someone who is kind of a part of your family. I never dated him, but we have interest in each other. We kissed once, but I don't know if it's right. I have known him for four years. I'm now 17 years old and he is 19.
Most times when we talk, he talks about sex. He said that he is in love with me and wants us to start an intimate relationship. We might even get married in the future. I am in love with him but I'm scared that if I start this relationship with him, I might end up getting hurt. He gets upset easily over ridiculous things. For instance, when I said I don't know if we could be together. My impression is that he is only for sex and I'm not like that. He told me that if I spend more time with him and get to know him, I would be interested. I would like to be with him but I hate being hurt. He offered to pay my ticket to visit him. My friend told me most guys wouldn't go through all of that for only sex.
So, do you think its right or should I just test the water?
A. A., USA
Dear A. A.,
Your friend does not know what he/she is talking when he/she says that "most guys wouldn't go through all of that for only sex." Guys will crawl on sharp objects just to get under a girl's skirt. They would even shed crocodile tears to get girls to go to bed with them and laugh after they have conquered their preys.
You have discerned that this guy is only interested in sex. Therefore you should be very careful that he does not make a fool of you. Do not accept his invitation to visit him.
I suggest that you tell your uncle or his wife that he is interested in you. Ask them for guidance. They will tell you the truth. Not all men try to trick women, but when a girl sees that a fellow is only interested in sex, she should not allow herself to be taken in by him.
Pastor
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