Dear Pastor,
I am having a real problem. I'm in love with a guy who is in love with someone else. He is the first and only guy whom I have ever been involved with intimately. We were in a relationship for awhile and we were happy and contented, until he started acting strange and avoiding me.
We broke up soon after that because I started to get the feeling that he was in love with someone else. If I asked him a question about a specific girl he knew, he would try to avoid the conversation.
We are still friends and he still does anything I ask him to do and likewise, if he asks me to do something, I do it if I can. I'm now in a relationship with someone else. This guy cares a lot about me, but our relationship cannot progress because I am still in love with my first guy. I am praying and trying to get over him but a very large part of my heart doesn't want to let him go. I am hoping he still loves me and we could still have a future and a family together. I'm so confused, I don't want to spend the rest of my life waiting and hoping for him to come back. But I can't be happy with another man, because I'm still in love with him.
Please, Pastor, I'm begging you to pray for me. I need your advice because I need to know where to go from here. I don't want to spend the rest of my life like this.
Y. B.,
Jamaica
Dear Y. B.,
You have to have the will to say no. You have to decide what is good or bad for you. It is not unusual for someone to fall in love with a person he or she cannot get. Therefore, you move on. It is time for you to move on because you know the man with whom you are in love, has another woman and you are wasting your time hoping that he will settle down with you.
You asked for prayer, but prayer without work is dead. Get up and help yourself. Don't carry around baggage. Free up yourself. Don't fight to have a man who doesn't want you. Remember what I said in the first paragraph, you must have the will to say no.
Pastor