BY SACHA WALTERS, Staff Reporter
MANY JAMAICANS TAKE care of sick and elderly family members on a daily basis and it is emotionally, physically and financially stressing on these caregivers.
Jacqueline McNaughton took care of her father, Melvin 'Doc' McNaughton, with the help of her mother, during five years of serious illness. He died a year ago.
Doc was diabetic, hypertensive and was diagnosed with early Alzheimer's at 69.
He worked as a mechanical engineer at the Bernard Lodge Sugar Factory and was made redundant when he was 71 as his eyes were failing because of the diabetes.
He reared chickens to keep himself occupied, however, his health deteriorated further and he eventually went into a coma twice because of the diabetes.
"It was challenging because we didn't want to put him in a home." Jacqueline said. The cost of the home was not an issue because they got an offer to take care of him in a facility free of charge, however, they refused it.
"Mommy wanted to take care of him, she wanted him there," Jacqueline said.
This was not simple as Jacqueline had a full-time job and her mother was not in the best of health so she could not take care of him by herself.
Jacqueline bathed and dressed him before she went to work and her mother would feed and try to deal with any mishaps he had during the day, but she needed help.
"Neighbours played a great role in helping us out," Jacqueline said. There was one particular neighbour who would come whenever they called.
According to Dr. Sandra McDermott a clinical psychologist and Director of the Counselling Centre of the Caribbean Graduate School of Theology, there comes a point where some elderly have to be put in a nursing home because of their medical needs. She said that it is important to check out the facilities and ensure that the institution is registered with the Ministry of Health. Gloria Noeleste, practical coordinator at the school, said based on her research, there were 113 registered nursing homes in January 2003 and there are many out there that are not.
UNRESOLVED ISSUES
Jacqueline and her mother faced many challenges.
"The Alzheimer's got worse, he forgot things. He'd start cursing... you couldn't leave any tools (like a cutlass) near him or he'd use it."
"Sometimes mommy get vex yuh know. Him all throw the hot tea on her." She said that when they asked he would say: "Me? I love you too much."
"Normally, in the elderly you find a lot of depression, anxiety, a lot of unresolved issues in their own past that may have been buried but suddenly because of the ageing factor, it surfaces. So, they are at a high risk of suicide," said Dr. McDermott.
Jacqueline said that when people visited them, he would say that they were not feeding him and that would hurt her mother.
"My father say all sorts of bad things to me. Sometimes you have to flash out of yourself. You feel hurt but you have to think about it."
Dr. McDermott said that the elderly have a lot of new emotions. "... (They) have to deal with some of the realities of ageing, are angry at themselves and displace it on other people," she said.
Doc developed an abcess on his leg and underwent major surgery to rectify the problem. "They dug a hole out ... you could push your fist through it." He spent three months in the hospital and she visited him every day. The wound had to heal naturally so it required dressing which they both had to do once he was home and because he was not eating properly, he became constipated and the doctor taught her how to pull the faeces out of his bottom.
That was a stressful time for her as she had to take a lot of time from work. Three months after, he started walking again but they had to still deal with a host of problems.
"Mi father would thief around the back and eat the mangoes them," she said or he would push his hand into the pot to take out food that he should not eat. They had to make sure that he took his medication because he would spit out his medication when they were not looking.
FINANCIAL DISTRESS
She said that after some people were killed in a shoot-out in the community, he stopped talking and walking. She had a doctor examine him and it turned out that he had had a mild stroke.
"When him reach that stage, you just feel sorry for him. I just prayed and said, 'Lord, take him,' because I didn't like to see him like that."
"It can have devastating effects because their lives are on hold," said Dr. McDermott. She said that mostly females are faced with this situation and there are different ways to deal with it.
"Join a support group. That's key. Find people of the same characteristics who can understand what you're going through and be able to share ideas. Be able to share the financial distress."
Jacqueline said she got a lot of support from people at her office who had gone through a similar situation and could tell her what to expect. "That's so nice."
Dr. McDermott said it is imperative that caregivers find a councillor with experience with the aged, to have sessions and hear and help the caregivers and the individual deal with the challenges.
Jacqueline said that when her boss recommended that they go to Dr. Eldimire Shearer, he explained what to expect and this made dealing with her father's hostility easier to handle.
Mrs. Noeleste said a friend of hers is experiencing a similar situation with her mother and she finds that allowing her to choose her own clothes and talking to her about the family's history reintroduces a level of independence and self-worth and this assists with her mood.
Dr. McDermott reinforced that the caregivers must take time for themselves. Jacqueline dealt with her stress by visiting the garden in her yard and her mother would go to prayer meetings and church. Dr. McDermott said that families should make special arrangements for this time. They can take a walk, write in a journal or have an evening out.
"Have the elderly join a senior citizens' association if they are active enough," said Dr. McDermott.
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