Dear Pastor,

I am 23 and my partner is 35. The problem is that he lives with the mother of his child and it is killing me. I went into the relationship with the knowledge that he was possibly still seeing her, but I guess I was hoping for the best. Besides, a friend of his told me that they weren't really together and he was just staying with her for the sake of their two-year old son. This friend also told me that they were not sexually involved anymore and I shouldn't worry about it because he didn't take her anywhere and I was the one he wanted. So more or less, I decided to go ahead and be with him.

It was great and to some extent it still is. However, he does not talk about that part of his life very much which makes me feel very insecure because I have no idea what is going on. He claims that he loves me, but sometimes he does some things and I really have to wonder if he knows what he is feeling. When we are supposed to be spending time together, sometimes he doesn't show up. The other day we had a major argument about it, but I am so weak when it comes to him, I forgave him a day after. This has never happened to me before. I feel like I have no control where this relationship is concerned.

We have been together for a year, but I don't know if I should invest any more of my time in this relationship. I love him, but I am scared that he will never leave her. I am prepared to invest time in his child. I have no problem where that is concerned, but truly I have no idea where we are going.

He was asked by a friend of mine if he was going to leave her and all he had to say was 'time will tell'.

Pastor, am I wrong for being in this relationship? What should I do?

Men have approached me, but I refuse to cheat on him. I am totally dedicated to him.

S. B., Illinois, USA

Dear S. B.,

You are a very naive woman. How could you just accept anything this man tells you? And how could his friend know that he is not having sex with his child's mother? Friends lie for friends. He could have told his friend to tell you that because you are gullible. You got yourself in a wrong relationship and you need to get out. The man is not going to leave his child's mother for you. You shouldn't have been in his life in the first place.

Pastor