Dear Pastor,

I have been reading your column and you are doing a great job. I am 14-year-old girl who attends one of the best high schools in Portland. I am doing well in school. I am having a big problem with a 19-year-old guy. A few months ago, I met him. We started to have a relationship. He told me things about himself and I also told him things about myself. We started having sex together and he told me how much he loved me. However, during that time, he was cheating on me with my friend and a relative. I did not say anything at the time but afterwards I started to accuse him of cheating on me with another girl I hate. Eventually we broke up.

He begged me to come back. He even gave my friend letters to give to me. I read them but said nothing. I love this guy with all my heart and he has hurt my feelings. Now he is in a relationship with his aunt-in-law. Tears are running down my cheeks and I am not going to give up on him easy.

Please Pastor, give me your advice. All I do is think about is this guy

L.L., Portland, Jamaica

Dear L.L,

Whether you know it or not, this young man is destroying your life and the very first time he had sex with you he should have been arrested, charged, taken to court and sentenced to prison. Although you are talking as a big woman, you are still a child and you cannot consent. And these hard-back, good-for-nothing men take advantage of girls like you. You are too young to be sexually active and this 19-year-old man is running around and behaving like a wild beast. He is not a good man, but getting you to understand that is not easy.

I can only ask that you consider what you have done as a big mistake. This man does not love you. He might have told you that he did but he does not. All he wanted from you was sex. Do not allow yourself to be fooled by the letters and sweet talk from him. Please leave this young man alone and tell him also to leave you alone. Focus on your school work every day.

Pastor