Dear Pastor,

I have been dating my boss who happens to be married for a year and I want to break up with him without him getting angry and telling me I am fired. In the past I have threatened to tell his wife about our relationship, but I eventually changed my mind. Pastor, I've been providing so much for this man and performed his wildest sexual fantasies.

I have found out that he has been researching my financial and personal records and he uses that information against me when he gets angry or just wants to be the 'superman.' It made me furious when I found out he did such nonsense to the point that I wanted to tell his whole family what a 'snake in the grass' he is.

This man has not been completely fulfilling any of my needs as a boyfriend should do! Actually, he's been a complete bore. I've tried to tell him that I want us to be just friends now, but he gets mad and treats me like I am less than a human being on the job. I feel like he's keeping me in his 'corner' or on standby, so I will not go to his wife and 'spill the beans.' I don't plan on just leaving my job because of the 'head benefits' and I've been there for very long.

Is it possible for us to ever work together and not bump heads all the time? Why is he acting this way? What should I do?

Fed Up. Atlanta, Georgia U.S.A

Dear Fed Up,

If you don't want to continue having an intimate relationship with this man you should tell him that the relationship is over and if he continues to harass you or try to blackmail you, you should file a lawsuit against him and the company for sexual harassment. You have had a consensual relationship with this man for a while, but the relationship has gone sour. Both of you were wrong in the first place. He must learn to accept the fact that the relationship is over.

Even if you were to tell his wife that you have been having a sexual relationship with her husband that may not prevent him from harassing you.

And, an intelligent wife knows that somewhere along the line you had agreed to be his lover. Some wives stand by their men and curse the complainants. Many girls only complain to wives after they realise that the men are not prepared to divorce their wives and marry them. Let this man know that you seriously want this relationship to come to an end.

Pastor