All you non-Christians, raise your voices and sing with Jackass. (You know the melody, cause if Jackass know tune then two-footers must know tune too):

"Hey, you can't do what the Christians do no, and get away with it, hey, you can't do what the Christians do and still be somebody."

The lyrics for that sure-shot number one (if it was ever recorded) came to Jackass last week when he was watching an interview with a gospel artiste called Moses. He spoke about having to defend his ends, as in carrying a gun, then getting shot and going to hospital. He recovered, went to a Christian camp, found the Lord and is now aiming to win souls and build, if not a mansion, then certainly a good concrete house here on earth.

Bully for him, for certainly the Lord is a Lord of prosperity, even though Jesus and the disciples lived like communists, pooling their money and not building buildings to themselves.

Public confessions

But it occurred to Jackass that if a deejay who is not a Christian had made these same public confessions, then the reaction would have been totally different. There would not be rejoicing here on earth that one had been returned to the flock to dwell amongst the 99, but sighs of confirmation that "me know de bway did bad an wukless long time."

The things you can do as a Christian and get away with is simply amazing. And the church people will cover up for you too. Look at the alleged molestation case with the elder and the teenagers in the car. It was taped and the church people kept it quiet until someone with a conscience decided that this could not go on any more. The easiest way to get off a case or at least get some consideration for mercy is to wave the Bible and claim that you hath found the way of the Lord and art walking on the straight and narrow.

Heck! People even advertise jobs and stipulate that the person must be a Christian. So, if the Christian goes there and starts stealing, then their employer will not believe it at first and the theft will continue for a long, long time. Just drop a few Psalms here and there and keep the books going your way and all is well.

Incorrect assumption

You see, the assumption is that if somebody says they are a Christian loud and long enough then they are. And, if it is assumed that they are, then it is assumed that they keep the commandments (you know, thou shalt not do this and that.) But it is a very incorrect assumption. It is also assumed that if someone is not a Christian, then they have no moral foundation, that they will do anything and have no conscience to badger them.

But Jackass asks, who jumps more young girls than parson? Who gets away with more collection money than parson? And who gets pardoned more than parson?

And verily, Jackass sayeth unto de I dem, if parson is a culprit on the pulpit, then what sayeth that about the flock he looketh over?

Jackass sey di worl' no level. Jackass sey him woulda get baptise an get piece a de haction, but him fraid fe get dip backways inna wata, cause if dem drown yu, dem wi get haff.