Dear Pastor

I am writing to you for your advice. I met a guy two years ago. At the time he said he had just ended a relationship with a wonderful girl because of distance. I told him distance is not a factor when two people love each other. Anyway, we started talking and we became close. I realised that he was very lonely because he did not know anyone in the area. He had gone through a rough time, losing both his parents at a tender age. Emotionally, his life made me want to be with him. He was so gentle and loving and he treated me well. He even carried me to meet his foster parents.

Then, the girl that he used to talk to started calling him, begging him to come back. I knew at that point something was wrong because he started lying about her calling him. I decided that he needed to go and see her and get himself sorted out. He went and came back telling me that he is still confused. I was devastated. I wanted to leave him, but at that that time his house got damaged by hurricane and I was the only person he chose to turn to for shelter. We went along with the relationship, though undecided.

Baby on the way

I became pregnant for him and believe me, I was so depressed. I thought that at the time he would have been eager to sort his life out, but he did not. He went on to invite the girl to Jamaica, which got me mad, so I called her. I told her that he loved her, but he also liked me. She started accusing me of all sorts of things, so I got mad and told her I was pregnant. I knew I was wrong to do that, but I was mad.

He was upset with me for doing that but I decided that I had to end this. I did not end it at that time, because I thought he loved me enough and did not to want that either. I had my baby and each time I look at him, I just want a family for him. I never wanted to be a single mother. I must say I found everything strange because he is the most loving and caring person I have ever met.

I am confused as to what I should do. There is so much more to tell you. I just need your advice. Please help me.

S.G., St. Mary, Jamaica

Dear S.G.,

You are a bit naive but I understand what you are going through. You truly love this man. Too bad he does not love you as much. He has not made any commitment to you. You took him into your house and he got you pregnant but the love he has for the other woman is stronger than what he has for you. He will support his child but he may never marry you. Any day he tells you that he is getting married to the other girl, do not be surprise. If he thinks that you would cry or make a scene about him marrying the other girl, he will do so quietly without your knowledge. Expect anything from him.

Pastor