Dear Pastor,

I am a girl who is obsessed with a particular guy. He is my one true love. I'm trying everything to win his heart. I have even had sex with his friend in order to become closer to him but it made matters worse.

Pastor, please advise me what to do.

K.J., Kingston, Jamaica

Dear K.J.,

How could you have sex with this man's friend to get closer to him? I do not understand such reasoning. Wouldn't that drive this man away from you? Unless of course, he thinks that you are the type of girl who is giving away 'her stuff' to every man and no man can claim you as his own. If you wanted this man, you shouldn't have gone to bed with his friend. That is an embarrassment to him.

I think you are wasting your time trying to get this man and I would encourage you to have a good look at yourself and stop making yourself cheap. Sometimes a girl may admire a man and wish that she can have him, but it is not possible and the same is true of a man. He may admire a girl and wish that he could have her, but it is not possible. People secretly admire one another but they do not make it known. Learn to control yourself. If you do, a good man may come your way.

Pastor