Dear Pastor,

I have a problem that I hope you can help me with. I recently came to live in Canada, but I was born in Jamaica. My problem is that I have a boyfriend in Jamaica who thinks that we should get married soon. We have a beautiful daughter and he is a great dad to her and a wonderful boyfriend to me. I know that he loves me and I love him too. I told him I am not ready to get married because I want to finish school first. I am 19 and he is 29 years old. We have been seeing each other for over three years. He will be going to America soon and he wants my daughter and me to come and live with him.

Pastor, I really would like to marry my child's father, but I think I am too young to make such a big step. It's not that I am afraid to commit because I know I can be faithful to him. Do you think I should marry my boyfriend now or should I wait until I am older? Please give me your fatherly advice. Thank you.

S.B., Ontario, Canada

Dear S.B.,

I understand what you are saying. You are not in a hurry to get married. Your boyfriend is in a hurry because he is 10 years older than you and he is ready to settle down and have his family together. You want to finish school and you are not convinced that you are ready to settle down. Tell the man the truth but at the same time, give him an idea when you believe you are going to be ready.

Remember, both of you are away from each other and there is always the possibility that he may decide that if you are not going to be fair to him and give him a reasonable time for him to wait on you , he may become involved with another woman, who would be quite willing to marry him. I am sure you wouldn't want that, so be reasonable with him.

Pastor