Jackass sey di worl' no level. Jackass sey dem look like dem waan draw line pon ooman fi wear dem panty out a door go outa road go party, but a long time draws a wear so, an' we no hear nutten bout e.

On Friday The STAR carried a story about women wearing their underwear as their outerwear and heading out to parties and that there was the possibility they could be charged under the Town and Communities Act. The part of the law that applies is "every person who shall in any thoroughfare or public place, indecently expose his or her person, shall be guilty of an offence and shall be liable to a penalty not exceeding one thousand dollars."

Visual impact

Now, Jackass would think that whether it is obscene or not would depend on the visual impact of the person wearing said garment on the street. The line between obscene and good scene would be somewhere between Bubbler of dancing, with Elephant Man on stage fame and some of those hotties contorting themselves in music videos. Where exactly it is depends on the taste (or lack thereof) of the viewer and just how much the person (and the wearer) can stomach.

But, before we even get into the person to draw the panty line on, there is the matter of just what is underwear anyway. As Heather Little-White said in that story, uptown events such as carnival also see underwear out a door, which is the one Jackass thought of right away when he read the story. Because those things that the women parade in on Kingston's streets, carried live on national television are shaped like underwear, move like underwear, feel like underwear and after an entire day on the road sure as hell must smell like underwear, so they must be underwear.

'Track meat'

And it is not only that. Jackass has always thought that cotching blocks for female athletes at track meets must be a wonderful job. In fact, when the female athlete is in the 'set' position, for the watchful block cotcher it is not a track meet but a track 'meat'. The things that a lot of the female athletes compete in is underwear, pure and simple.

Why do you think men carry binoculars to the National Stadium? To see the finish line or to see that 'thinnish' line?

Then take a sport like beach volleyball, where the bottom of the outfit often rides up to show the cheeky side of the sport. Isn't that underwear as well?

The world is not level at all because underwear is underwear, whether or not it has Victoria's Secret on it. And why is Victoria still keeping a secret after all this time anyway? Isn't it about time she let it out, got it off her chest?

It will be argued that various athletic pursuits require as little clothing as possible to cut wind resistance, as well as give the wearer as much room as possible to move about. That is, dear Jackass readers, just what the woman who goes to a party requires. It cannot be easy to do the 'Dutty Wine' in a cloak and where would the fun be in that anyway? Not for the wearer, not for the watcher.

Jackass sey di worl' no level. Jackass sey from de days a b...y rider tings a gwaan so yu cyaan correl de ass afta it get whey.