Dear Pastor,

I am living in the States but I used to live in Jamaica. I was dating a guy who went to England and got married. I know the girl he married. He still calls me and I call him. He still tells me that he loves me and everytime we see each other we have sex. He wants to have a baby with me. I don't know what to do. I still love him. His wife used to think that we were just friends but that is what he told her.

She knows we are having sex. Even our friends know that she is just in denial. I know it's a sin but he was mine first. People just make mistakes. What should I do? He told her that if he has to stop talking to me he is going to leave her. So she thinks I am a bitch. I love my man.

K.W., U.S.A.

Dear K.W.,

This man and you were intimate friends before he went to England and got married. Perhaps he got married there because he wanted to gain permanent status there. But the love that he had for you never died. His marriage was for convenience. If indeed his wife knows that both of you are still having sex and he has threatened to leave her because of you, he has no intention of ending the relationship with you. That is not something to be proud of.

The question is, do you believe that you should continue the relationship with this man? Is it right for you to be the cause of the breaking up of his marriage? Do you believe that this woman took him away from you? She didn't from what you have written. If you were his wife would you want another girl to openly challenge you for your husband? I am sure you wouldn't. So what you don't want for yourself, don't do to this woman. It is not a matter that you were there first. The fact is the man married another woman and whatever his motive might has been they are still together. So please stop challenging her for her man. And tell him that if he loves his wife he should stay with her.

Pastor