Dear Pastor,

I am a 19-year-old college student who is having a lot of problems. One of my problems is that I have been living here for the past two years and I left behind my 20-year-old boyfriend of three years. I have been having a lot of sexual urges and I don't know what to do. When I was living in Jamaica we weren't crazy for sex like the other kids that we knew. We just mostly talked and hung out with each other.

Now, I am so stressed out because I just get horny without being turned on by him. I told my boyfriend about my problem and he said I should use my finger to get the pleasure that I want, but it's not the same. When I get horny I just go to sleep because it depresses me so much.

Please tell me what to do, Pastor.

M.B., Toronto, Canada

Dear M.B.,

It is quite normal for you to have sexual urges but you would not die if you don't yield to them. Even when one is engaged in lots of activities, these urges will come on from time to time. And sometimes one may feel that he/she is being overwhelmed by them.

Your boyfriend means well when he tells you that you should masturbate. You don't like doing that but you have found another way to deal with your problem and that is to sleep it off. Good for you. Whenever a girl is faithful in a relationship, her boyfriend is always proud of her and that is what is going to happen in your case. Keep very active. Engage in lots of extra curriculum activities and you would be kept busy and will find that the desire for male companionship will not be a strong as it is now.

Pastor