Dear Pastor,

I have an issue that my husband and I are having a difficult time agreeing on. I am 31 years young and my husband is 22. We met online and got married after 8 months because we were and still are truly in love.

This is truly a match made in heaven and a blessing for us both. We take God, life, and family very seriously. When he met me, I had three children and was supporting them on my own.

Strong and confident

I have already proven that I am strong and confident enough to manage life, but God blessed me because he loves me so. This makes it hard for people who lack the presence of God and self-confidence in their lives to accept us when we have already accepted ourselves.

My Husband has one daughter; she is two years old. My children do not know their father and his daughter's mother has abandoned her, which just shows me that God has a plan here for all of us in this particular set-up. I know he is young and that I have much more experience than he does, so I nurture him in every way to show him that I am loyal and sincere to our marriage and he does the same. I filed for him and now we live together with my three children. He is a good provider; loving, caring and tender in heart.

My children call him daddy because he is truly unique and was sent by God to us.

Since day one, his mother showed her lack of interest in me by not taking the time to get to know me. My thing is, pastor, if my 21-year-old son comes to me and tells me that he is getting married to a 30-year-old woman he met on the computer and she has three children without a father, I don't care what kind of woman you are, you would at least have some questions for that woman. Not his mother! She showed negative traits like greed, unappreciation, selfishness and jealousy.

I know my husband is young, but God has helped us though. I am proud of our strength. I am not the kind of woman who just wants a man and does not care about his family. I have helped them in every way. I allowed them to stay in my house back home without charge; they even collect rent from my tenants and I give them the money to use.

Never enough

My husband and I send food and money, but it never seems to be enough for this woman, who by the way, never said thank you to me for all the help I gave her and her debilitated husband. She is not capable of taking care of my husband's child. I have told my husband to let the child stay with my grandmother and I will start filing the paperwork for her to come and live with us. He disagreed.

I really feel like this child would do better if she were out of that environment temporarily until she comes to be with us. My husband made a statement that even if the child suffers, he would still rather she stays with his mother. I feel he can't let go of the apron strings.

I am ready to let it all go before the throne. I just wanted your take on the matter, out of curiosity. Thank you for your listening ear.

I.T., New York

Dear I.T.,

I trust that your marriage to this very young man will last. I understand your concern for this child who is living in Jamaica. However, I must ask of you not to give the impression to this young man that you do not like his mother. I do believe that you mean well and perhaps, his parents have not shown gratitude to you for what you have done for them. Some mothers find it difficult to accept their daughters-in-law especially when they are older

God will honour you for what you have done. Truth will always prevail. Let the child remain where she is. You will have a wonderful opportunity to mother her when she is living with you.

Pastor