Dear Pastor,

I am a regular reader of your column and I thoroughly enjoy your responses to the issues that you are asked to address. However, I must say I do not agree with your response to the young man who said after being with his girlfriend for nine years, he feels that she is not marriage or mother material. You have advised him to stay with the girl because she is a good woman, because she is obedient to her parents, she won't cheat and they love and trust each other.

My reason for disagreeing with your advice is this. The young man said this lady is very messy and she won't help with the bills even though she makes good money. Right there are two very important reasons not to get involved with this young lady. First, people don't change unless they want to, no matter how much counselling they get and this young lady thinks that living in a mess is normal. The other thing is finance. If she is making good money, what would be the reason why she wouldn't help with the bills? If she is going to be selfish with her money, then what happens if he loses his job? She will not help out because she is not used to doing that. How can a man live with a woman who doesn't help to keep the house clean or help with the bills? Nope!

Please note that there are a lot of people that a person will date. However, many of those people are not marriage material and if you can tell that before you marry them, then don't get married because marriage won't change anyone.

S.R., Brampton, Ontario

Dear S.R.,

I love your response. I may not agree with you but I love you. That is how you see it. I didn't say exactly what you accuse me of saying but that is alright. You mean well. I did not say that she should not clean the house or contribute financially to the running of the house. However, I know that some women are not good house keepers but that doesn't necessarily mean that they are not good wives. A woman is a tremendous blessing if she is a good cook, good house keeper, etc. But some women will always remind their men that they are not maids.

Every man would love to have a woman who takes pride in keeping her house clean and who takes care of her husband, the children and herself. I repeat such a woman is a great blessing. Do we have many such women today? What do you think?

Thank you so much for writing. May God bless you and please write again.

Pastor.