Dear Pastor,

Greetings to you in the name of Jesus, our soon coming King. I am 26 and I recently got married. Already my husband has made me think about divorcing him. I really love him, but he does not make me feel comfortable as a husband should make a wife feel. He makes love to me once in a while and when he does, he ejaculates so quickly. I do not enjoy it. Most times he does not make love to me for a month or more. I asked him why he takes so long to make love to me. He said that whenever he wants to make love, he comes in the bed and the feeling goes away and that sometimes we feel like two men in bed and that kills his nature.

The other problem is that he is not fun anymore. At nights, he eats dinner, bathes and then goes to sleep and leaves me alone watching television. This happens as early as eight at nights. Sometimes I don't even want him to touch me. That's the way I feel and I'm his wife. I am thinking of cheating on him because he is boring and my marriage is boring. I know there would be good and bad times, but it doesn't have to be this way.

Please tell me what to do before I do the wrong thing. I need a good life that is romantic and fun, not a boring one to make me unhappy everyday of my life. I am young, not old and even old couples are having romantic relationships. Help me.

N.W., May Pen, Jamaica

Dear N.W.,

You husband is suffering from a condition that is called premature ejaculation. He can overcome this condition by doing certain exercises, which you as his wife would have to play a part. A sex therapist can explain this to both of you. I do not have the space to deal with this in my column. Perhaps your husband is deeply embarrassed because he knows that in trying to have sex with you, he is unable to satisfy you.

I have said in my column on many occasions that a man should be able to control his ejaculation as he controls his urine. Your husband has to learn how to make love and not just to have sex. Some men are great 'pushers' but they know nothing about love making. Encourage your husband to see a counsellor. A sex therapist will be better.

Please don't yield to the temptation of cheating on your husband. Stay with him and help him. You can play a big part in this matter. When he is making his foolish excuses, tell him you know that he is lying.

Pastor