Not many Jamaicans can claim to come from what is known as a nuclear family. That is the term used to describe the nice, neat ideal structures with one daddy, one mommy and approximately two children all living under one roof.

Whether through divorce/separation, serial monogamy or infidelity, the Caribbean family composition is often characterised by situations where many of us have to explain or qualify our siblings. How many times have you heard someone asking a friend "how you and yuh sista look so different and how comes unnu have different surnames?" with the friend answering "because we have the same mother, but different father!" Of course, some people from up north just avoid the need for explanation by referring to their siblings in terms of a fraction. They say brother, sister, or half-brother and half-sister. Wonder if dem have quarter bredda and tree-quarter sista to?

I don't know about you, but I always find it kind of weird when I hear people talk about having a half-brother or a half-sister because I have never yet seen a half-person! You ever seen any?

Part or whole

In Jamaica, a sibling is a sibling whether you share the same mother, father or both. I have eleven siblings, six brothers and five sisters, but of the eleven, I share the same mother and father with only one brother. That means, based on the foreign model, I have five half-sisters, five half-brothers and one whole brother. So, mathematically I have a total of 2.5 sisters and 3.5 brothers! Nice.

Well, it may sound funny but it can get seriously confusing. Imagine what happens if you 'like off' a girl, only to find out that she is a sister by her mother's side to one of your brothers by your father's side. That means although she is not directly related to you, she is supposed to be off limits because she is your brother's sister. It unfair eeh? It gets worse if you're unlucky enough to become romantically involved with somebody only to discover that you have the same last name, not just because the name is common, but because your father, who you probably never met, is also common! And many Caribbean men are quite common, with little or no capital.

Women guilty also

I am not about to ascribe all the responsibility for the situation on men though. Many women contribute to the confusion as they move from one child-producing-relationship to another, trying to find the one-and-only Mr. Right who invariably turns out to be the breed-and-run-away Mr. Wrong.

Friends, it really makes sense for us to try and keep our family configuration simple by having all our children with one partner. It creates less confusion and contributes to more stable family structures. Trust me when I say I know it can be difficult, but it's not impossible. It's an ideal for which we should all strive. However, if for whatever reason we are unable to achieve this ideal, let's not buy out the foreign people dem terminology and start fractionalising our relatives. No half, quarter and three-quarter business round here. Flesh and blood is flesh and blood. So your bredda is your bredda and your sista is your sista, full stop!

What you think? box-mi-back@hotmail.com